Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
