even my farts smell like vagina
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
