You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
