My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
