dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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