your parents love me but you hate me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
