Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
