so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So vagazzling was a success
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
