It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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