We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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