This girl is more easily done than said...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize