did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
