Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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