at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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