David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
