Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
