My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
