He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This house was built for laser tag.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
