I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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