3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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