Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so much tequila, so little girl.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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