was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
