Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
we're so committed to being not committed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
