This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize