we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
