oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
