just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
