I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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