Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
