we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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