its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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