Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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