I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
