Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
