hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize