I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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