I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
