is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All I want is dick and wine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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