you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was like eating out sand paper
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
