pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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