i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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