I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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