Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
