grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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