Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
