I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He shit in the fireplace
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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