she looked like the before picture.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
