I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
