I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize