No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize