pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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