Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
