Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
