Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
