you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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