Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How naked do you want me to be?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
