I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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