The maid of honor just puked.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
