i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's never too late to be topless.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
