Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
