i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
