He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
