I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
