there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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