I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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